GrumbleSmiles

“Old Geek 3”

Posted on December 8, 2013 by john graham

Now I am really getting into being an old geek; I think I should get an MP3 player. I don’t know what one is, but all my new young mates down the arcade have them. They keep them plugged in their ears all the time, so perhaps it is some sort of hearing aid.

First I have to go out and buy a baseball cap with a big peak. Everyone wears them back to front. I suppose this is to keep the sun off the back of their neck. It also explains why they then have to wear dark glasses.

Next I had better buy an oversized track suit top with a hood. You have to keep the hood up at all times, even if it is not raining – except when you have your baseball hat on back to front that is.

So, suitably dressed, I begin the search for an MP3 player. I started by looking it up in my trusty Oxford English Dictionary – that just said Member of Paliament – but I can’t imagine all these youngsters are listening in to the Daily Politics Show. So I googled MP3 and came up with 2,950,000,000 answers. That’s helpful!

Still I did find out that MP3 stands for MPEG-1 Audio Layer 3. So now I know?

Oh, and MPEG is short for Motion Picture Experts Group, which is good for us techie geeks to know. And will probably be a question on a TV quiz show one of these days.

I also found out I can get speaker docks to go with my MP3 player and there is one called Ashampoo. Which maybe a bit late for me to get the full benefit of.

Perhaps I will leave getting an MP3 player for a while, ……..dazed and confused, I guess I will just have to soldier on with my 78’s on the gramophone.

Posted in SMILES | Tagged "Old Geek", "Technology Gap" | 3 Comments

“Couldn’t Care Less”

Posted on December 1, 2013 by john graham

Over the past few weeks the press has been full of articles about the poor quality of care for older people who still live in their own homes. Visited by a succession of often unfamiliar faces, rushing through a treadmill of tasks of daily living:-

Getting people out of bed
Getting people washed / showered if there is one / a bath is out of the question
Getting people breakfast – no full English breakfast here / toast at the most
Ensure medication is taken

Write it all down in the “no-care” plan and go onto the next client. Oh and do it in 15 minutes!

The obvious question to ask is who is to blame for all this? The first person in the firing line is always the carer who is running around like a headless chicken from client to client. But they are just following the impossible schedule that is given to them by their employer.

The employer is usually a domiciliary care agency but the funding for much of their work is provided by Social Services who know only too well that there is inadequate time allowed to deliver high quality care and also that the finances only provide for minimum wage employees, many of whom will not be adequately trained in caring. So maybe Social Services should be blamed?

From a Social Service viewpoint, the total amount of money they have available is severely constrained by Central Government at a time when there are more and more older people needing care and support. This financial equation is never going to work and will always mean that resources are stretched too thinly and quality care takes second place, even if it is provided at all. Successive Governments have been well aware of this looming situation for many years and yet all politicians refuse to face up to telling the electorate that the majority of older people will have to pay for their own care. This lack of leadership, courage and honesty leaves older people with false hopes and forlorn expectations.

Posted in ELDERLY UK POLICY | Tagged Domiciliary Care | 3 Comments

“Breakfast Tradition” 2

Posted on November 3, 2013 by john graham

I love marmalade, the stronger and thicker-cut the better. (See my earlier blogs by clicking on “BREAKFAST” in the TAG CLOUD).

Sadly, it seems like I am increasingly in a minority. Sales of marmalade fell by 6.2% in the last 12 months according to figures quoted in The Grocer Magazine.

Research analysts Mintel found that only 7% of families enjoy marmalade for breakfast compared to 36% 40 years ago.

What is the world coming to? Traditions are the anchor points in our ever-changing lives. We all need some stability and marmalade is one of mine.

Soon there will be just me, Paddington Bear and Frank Cooper left at the breakfast table.

Posted in SMILES | Tagged "Breakfast" | 2 Comments

“The Irony of De-cluttering”

Posted on October 27, 2013 by john graham

I have just finished writing a blog on de-cluttering when there is a knock on the back door. It is the post lady with a clutch of letters which are too big to put through the letter box at the front.

Just when I thought I was getting tidy again, I have a whole lot of new mail to replace the mail I have just thrown out:-

A bank statement which, after a cursory glance, I will file in the pending tray in my office. Several months later, if I get round to it, I will file it in the box file marked “Bank” and never look at it again. Eventually maybe several years later, when I have got no more room for box files, I will have a bonfire in the garden and burn all the bank statements. Then I will start the process all over again. Maybe it is time I switched to online banking?
The second letter was about equity release. I enquired about it four years ago. After reading the brochure, I was lucky enough to receive a phone call every month for a year, even though I told them I was not interested. Ever after I have had a letter every few months, just in case I change my mind I suppose. I guess they will never go away.
The third letter was an invitation to sign up for a magazine whose subscription I cancelled. I imagine they can’t stand rejection, so I expect I will be receiving regular letters from them as well.

The irony of de-cluttering is that what I do best is:

Posted in SMILES | Tagged Clutter | 1 Comment

“Clutter Head”

Posted on October 22, 2013 by john graham

My head is full of clutter. Things I think about, but are too complicated to resolve there and then. So they just stay there. Another spec of cerebral dust, until eventually I become dust myself.

In the meantime my life becomes an accumulation of lifetime dust. Everything from fleeting memories to treasured possessions.

Let’s just take two small examples :-

I have a drawer full of socks. Black socks – 20 pairs plus a few single odd socks that have long since lost the soul mate. Short black socks for summer, long ones for winter. If I had a summer sock drawer and a winter sock drawer, I could simplify my sock sorting problem. I would just need a bigger house and more drawers.

Alternatively, I could just wear long black socks all the time and turn them down in the summer. OR at least in the summer I could wear no socks at all. I had an old fashioned school master in my first junior school, at Hereford Road in Abergavenny, Mr. Sam Champion. He never wore socks. I can’t remember anything he taught me, but his lack of socks resurfaced when I was writing this blog and must have left an indelible memory in my cluttered mind.

Meanwhile, I could throw away all my grey socks, fawn socks and green socks. Then there are all my walking socks. Actually they are not really walking socks. I have to do the walking and they just look out for the drawer and remind me I am not walking.

That is the trouble with too many socks, they not only fill up your drawers, they also clutter up your head with mindless thoughts.

So do TIES. Especially now I don’t wear them very often – but I like them – they are full of memories of where I bought them. The Guggenheim Museum in Venice, a Frank Lloyd Wright Exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. A Jackson Pollock Exhibition at Tate Modern in London. And many more that cost a fortune in Saville Row over the years. Too expensive to throw away, they hold no memories for anyone else, but they are a warm reflection in my wardrobe. Dare I get rid of those lost days or do I become a tie hoarder?

I am becoming a “Pig Pen” in the Schultz Peanuts cartoons forever tramping around with a cloud of dust circling around my head.

To paraphrase Charley Brown “I am carrying around the dust of ancient civilisations”, or in my case the socks and ties of the last twenty years. Or as “Pig Pen” would say:-

Posted in SMILES | Tagged Clutter | 4 Comments

“Old Geek 2”

Posted on October 20, 2013 by john graham

In my new-found head long rush to be an elderly geek staying one jump ahead of my new cool young mates in the games arcade, I have got to get a new digital watch.

(See my earlier post on this subject by clicking on “Old Geek” in the Tag Cloud.)

No ordinary watch but the latest old man about town, all singing, all dancing Samsung Galaxy Gear, with 4 giga bytes of memory and Bluetooth. How cool is that?

The 4 gigabytes of memory will be able to remind me about all those things I keep forgetting. It will also be able to receive e-mails and texts which means I will never need a moment to myself ever again 🙂 . I have to admit I am not too sure what to do with the Bluetooth, maybe I will go to my dentist and ask him. I am sure blue teeth aren’t good for you.

The phone also has two microphones and one speaker. Seems strange that, I would have thought you needed two speakers and one microphone to go with two ears and one mouth. But what do I know?

This new super-duper gadget also has a “pedometer” which is great because bending down to cut your toe nails gets harder as you get older. Another useful feature is an “accelerometer”, which I suppose gives you little electric shocks to stop you nodding off all the time.

This gadget could be of great assistance to older people. Haven’t seen any mention of “telling the time” but maybe there won’t be time for that between all the emails, texts and electric shocks.

Posted in SMILES | Tagged "Old Geek", "Technology Gap" | 1 Comment

“An Unfortunate Juxta Position”

Posted on September 26, 2013 by john graham

There was a classic example of how attitudes towards older people are slowly and surreptitiously changing in two articles in The Times on 18th September. Two small articles on separate pages which will have gone unnoticed by most people.

Sub-editors are the Twitterati of newspapers. They attempt to capture the eye of the reader but sometimes lose the essence of the article.

The first of these was:-

“Hawking in favour of assisted suicide”

This is another step toward the edge, in a well orchestrated campaign by Lord Faulkner in promoting and seeking public acceptance of his aim to change the law on assisted dying. Yet another celebrity endorsement!

Stephen Hawking is a brilliant example of someone who survived being on a life support machine to go on to write “A Brief History of Time” which sold over 10 million copies. Now at 71 he is persuaded to change his view but as a scientist he is precise with his words, he is talking about the terminally ill and their right to choose.

The second article is about elderly workers. It is a positive report about encouragement being given to employers by Pensions Minister Steve Webb to continue to employ older people. Even so, the debate which took place at the Liberal Democrat Annual Conference is full of reference to the elderly:-

“Retire and die the next day”
“Feeling excluded and worthless”
“demonized as the graph of doom”

Talk about talking yourself into an early grave – the article was written by the Chief Political correspondent, Michael Savage (my emphasis).

Then along come another sub-editor who, in an unfortunately inappropriate headline, maybe captures a portent of the future:-

“Don’t push older workers off the cliff”

Tagged assisted suicide | 9 Comments

“I want to be an old Geek”

Posted on September 24, 2013 by john graham

As I get older I get more and more like the grumpy old man in the GrumbleSmiles banner to my blog, but I don’t want to be seen as an old git. I would rather be :-

“AN OLD GEEK”

Some welcome news from researchers at the University of California found that pensioners made dramatic improvements in multi-tasking ability and memory after only 12 hours of playing video games. In fact they ended up being better than 20 year olds!

The video game is based on a driving challenge using a joy stick whilst at the same time pushing buttons to respond to road signs. It must be a bit like driving a car on the motorway and using a mobile phone at the same time, which lots of young people seem to do already.

Not all the research from this University can be relied on, see my earlier post entitled “Expensive Cure” which can be found in the ARCHIVE dated April 2013.

So I am off down to the games arcade on the High Street just as soon as I have found some baggy clothes to wear and bought a new pair of Converse Trainers.

P.S. You have to be a GEEK to understand this cartoon 🙂

Posted in SMILES | Tagged "Old Geek", "Technology Gap" | 1 Comment

“Wrinkle Mania”

Posted on September 22, 2013 by john graham

Wrinkles take years to acquire. A lifetime of effort and experience.

Then almost as soon as they have them, most women do their utmost to get rid of them.

Facelifts, Botox and anti-ageing products are in the vanguard of the rage against age.

The latest snake-oil miracle cure designed to “Halt the onset of Time”, is a capsule and face cream package called “Prototype” which is made from antioxidants found in grape skins. Prototype is something of an unfortunate name, since it suggests they are still working on getting the formula just right. To help enhance the miracle cure —- they have added Vitamin B6 – to speed up skin healing and burns (maybe the Prototype didn’t work so well to start with ?). Then they have added Vitamin C – essential for collagen synthesis and protection from the sun’s rays (no mention of scurvy ?) and finally Vitamin E – for skin tightening (cheaper than a facelift).

If it is as good as it sounds, most 80 year olds will look like 25 again. Providing they can afford the £39.99 in Boots !

Posted in Grey Products, SMILES | Tagged Wrinkles | 2 Comments

“Bungalow Metaphor”

Posted on September 18, 2013 by john graham

This blog follows on from “Bungalow Mindset” which you can find by clicking on “Retirement Housing” in the TOPICS LIST.

A survey by Halifax Building Society recently found that bungalows were the most popular image of a home in retirement. It has been my experience too, in the thirty years of building and managing retirement housing, that the survey accurately reflects people’s first thoughts IF they are forced to move. But, is it the right choice or the ONLY choice.

Certainly bungalows enshrine some real retirement aspirations – it’s independent housing with light, no stairs, less rooms to clean and usually a small garden to maintain. It is a good option but a relatively expensive one, given the high value of land. It is a “rocking chair on the porch” image of retirement, that sounds good to start with until you consider living alone in a climate too cold for all year round outdoor living.

Bungalows are bound to be the preferred choice, when the alternative is downsizing to a small flat in a high-rise block where the lifts break down and the neighbours above you have noisy kids. Worse still is the dreaded move to a single bedroom in residential care. This is not necessarily the reality of retirement flats or of all residential care but it is the image of housing in later life most older people have experience of.

We need to lift retirement housing to a new level which embraces the aspirational bungalow but does not thoughtlessly copy it.

Level access, high space standards, good outlook and external private space can all be achieved on and off the ground in HAPPI standard retirement housing. Equally importantly you can still sit on your porch at times but also have the option of company and support from like-minded neighbours as you choose.

I was writing about this subject over a year ago, you can see the post “Move to a smaller house” by clicking in the ARCHIVE on January 2012.

Posted in RETIREMENT HOUSING | Tagged "Hanover" | 2 Comments